Potions Gone Awry
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: Peter screws up his potion and the Marauders must spend the day as girls. Rated for safety


Title: Potions Gone Awry

Summary: Peter screws up his potion and the Marauders must spend the day as girls.

A/N Again, thanks Terri, for the help.

It was a calm, Monday morning, and the Marauders were in Potions class. Peter, though, was half asleep, since Sirius had kept them all awake for the longest the night before, telling them all about his date.

He began to doze, and knocked a vial of snake liver into his potion.

"Peter, NO!" but before Remus could do anything, the potion exploded, covering the four Marauders.

Sirius coughed, and, as the smoke of the potion cleared, he saw everyone looking at them. "What" he asked, except, it was a female speaking, not him. He looked down. "HOLY CRAP! I have boobs."

He looked over at his friends, and saw, where Moony was sitting, a very pretty brunette. James had become nearly a mirror image of one of the Gryffindor girls, except for his glasses and hazel eyes. And Peter had become a pudgy, feminine version of himself.

Gen, the dark haired Gryffindor girl, looked at Sirius, and blinked. "Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Damn, you look better than me."

Sirius grinned. "I thank you."

"Um, maybe we should get you guys to the Hospital Wing?" Lily questioned.

"No." their Professor shook his head. "There's no antidote. They're going to be girls until 9:00 tonight."

"This potion has a twelve hour effect!" Remus asked, brushing his hair out of his face.

"Yes, Mister, erm, Miss Lupin."

The Hufflepuffs in the class were still speechless. Celeste Helms, however, was about to die from laughing.

"It's not funny, Celeste!" Remus squeaked in his girly voice.

"Yes, it is!"

James and Peter were with the Hufflepuffs, shocked beyond words. Then Peter piped up "Since I'm a girl, will I have pretty handwriting now"

"No, you're handwriting will always be horrible." Marci, the last Gryffindor girl, sighed.

"James? You OK?" Lily asked hesitantly.

"No! I'm a chick" he squeaked.

Gen began to giggle. "James, you sound so sweet!"

He frowned at her, but, before he could say anything, Sirius gasped. "I just had the best idea." he said.

"What now, Sirius?"

"The Slytherins." he grinned.

"THEY DON'T KNOW WE'RE GIRLS!" James squealed.

"WHY you're happy about this, I'll never know." Remus sighed.

Together, the eight walked out of the class and down to Care of Magical Creatures with the Slytherins. All the Slytherins were pointing and whispering.

"Who are they?"

"Where are the Gryffindor boys?"

"Where's my quill?"

"Look at Snape, look at Snape!" Sirius squealed, hopping up and down. Snape was staring hard, trying to figure out if this was a prank or not. He finally decided it was not, and made his way over to Sirius.

"Severus Snape." he said, introducing himself.

Sirius thought fast. "Svetlana Isoma." he said, imitating a horrible Russian accent.

"Charming." Snape replied, heading back over to his fellow Slytherins but not taking his eyes off Sirius.

"Creepy." Sirius muttered, glaring at Gen.

"Don't look at me like that. I didn't send him over here."

"Remus, go pester Lucius!" Celeste hissed.

"But I don't want to."

"DO IT!"

"NO!"

"Ladies, what's with the fighting?" a charming, yet sinister voice asked. The two looked up to find Lucius Malfoy staring at them.

"Uh, Um, I- "

"She, er, uh- "

James went over and placed his hand on Remus's shoulder. "She thinks you're hot." James giggled. Remus looked as though he would kill James. Lucius just winked. Remus stared, slightly horrified.

"Lunchtime! I'm starved." Peter sighed as the bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Me too." Gen moaned.

They sat down at the Gryffindor table, with people still staring. But they had grown used to it by now.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed.

"Wha?" Sirius asked, his mouth full of food.

"Act more like a girl!"

Sirius just let out a loud belch and continued to eat.

James and Celeste were near hysterics. Gen pretended like she didn't know him. Lily and Peter were busy eating, while Remus just shook his head.

"What class have we got next?" Sirius asked, wiping his mouth with his hand, completely forgetting his napkin.

"Sirius, you're making us girls look bad." Lily hissed.

"Sorry."

"No, you're not"

"Come on, Divitation." Remus sighed.

They began the long walk up to the North Tower. Remus lagged behind. His bag had split.

"No, go on. I can make it faster without your help."

"Hello, again." Lucius called, tucking his wand back in his pocket.

"Um, hi?" Remus asked.

"Hello. We didn't get to talk much last time we met."

"Yeah, well, uh, I'll be late for class." Remus began to leave.

"What's your name, love?" Lucius asked, toying with Remus's hair.

"Um.. you know, you're not really my type." Remus muttered, trying to get away.

"Oh, really? What IS your type?"

"I like girls, man. Sorry." Remus ran off, trying not to laugh.

Remus was still laughing by the time he made it to the North Tower.

"What's so funny?" Peter asked.

"Old Malfoy tried to hit on me."

"That's funny?" Gen asked.

"Hang on, hang on. I told him he wasn't my type, right? And he asked me what was my type. I said I like girls. He nearly wet himself from the looks of it." Remus said, hopping in his seat.

Sirius laughed. "Oh, my, and god. No you didn't!"

"I did!"

Snape, one of the few Slytherins taking Divitation, kept staring at Sirius. Sirius finally wrote him a note, saying that 'Svetlana' would love to meet him outside the castle at 9:30 that night.

"But, Sirius, we change back at 9:00." James giggled.

"I know." Sirius winked.

"Oh, Sirius. Knowing you, you have something evil planned." Gen sighed.

"Yes, I do."

After class, though, Snape, cornered Sirius. "I'm sorry. I couldn't wait for tonight." he breathed. Sirius began to panic. He had not meant for it to go that far. Thinking quickly, he grabbed the nearest girl, which happened to be Gen, and planted a liplock on her.

Gen pushed away and slapped him.

"OW!"

Snape walked away, shaking his head. He didn't see Gen slap Sirius. "I've lost all faith in females." he sighed sadly.

"Sirius, you idiot!"

"I'm sorry, Gen! Snape was about to rape me."

"He was not."

Sirius sighed. "He looked like he was." he pouted.

Together, they, along with Peter, walked off to dinner. James, Lily, Marci, Celeste, and Remus had left them behind.

"Sirius, I can't believe you did that." Peter chuckled.

"I can." Sirius grinned. Gen just rolled her eyes.

"Why are you guys so late?" James asked, staring up at them from his dessert.

"Sirius and Snape." Gen sighed, sitting next to Remus.

"What happened?" he asked.

Sirius retold what happened, going into great detail, ew, as Gen ate Remus's apple pie.

"Gen, I kind of wanted that."

"No, you didn't. It would go straight to your hips."

Lily laughed.

"Should we do our homework now, or wait until later?" she asked, as they made their way to the Common Room.

"Later." James grinned.

"What have you got planned?" Remus asked.

"Nothing, we're just going to the library." James said, trying to look innocent.

Moments later, he and Sirius were running through the boys' bathroom on the seventh floor.

"WOOO! NICE UNDIES, STEPHENS!" Sirius shouted.

"TIGHTY WHITEYS!" James giggled, running around, throwing toilet paper.

"Slytherin bathrooms next?" Sirius asked, panting, as they ran down the steps. James had toilet paper in his hair.

"Certainly."

And so, they barged into the Slytherin bathrooms, seated themselves on the sink, and began applying makeup to the best of their abilities. Snape and Lucius happened to be in there.

"What are you doing here?" Lucius snapped.

"Making myself pretty." Sirius giggled.

James grinned at Sirius, turned to Lucius, and said "You KNOW you want me."

"Yes, I do."

Sirius and James stared at each other, and then began to run, but not before someone copped a feel on James.

"He grabbed... my ass..." James panted as soon as they had reached the seventh floor.

"Someone's coming!" Sirius laughed, shoving James into the nearest closest and following him.

It was Snape and Lucius, of course.

"Where did they go?" Snape asked.

"They can't've gone far." Lucius nodded.

Sirius and James waited a few minutes before creeping out of the closest and made it to the Common Room right as the clock struck nine.

James, Remus, and Peter grinned, back to their boyish selves. Sirius was pouting.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" Gen asked

"I made a damn fine girl." he sighed sadly. "But I wouldn't want to be one everyday." he added in a hurry.

A/N

Well? It's the longest I've done. Good? Bad? As I've said before, I could care less about flames.


End file.
